You'd Never Believe Me...
by Skye Rocket
Summary: What happens when the Fellowship ends up going from Middle EARTH to Middle AMERICA? And what effects will it have on their companion's mental state? Find out...
1. In The Beginning...

You'd Never Believe Me! By Skye Rocket  
  
Disclaimer: Guess what? I own nothing from Lord of the Rings, okay? I own my OC, but that's about all. Peace.  
  
A/N: Okay. I've seen that everyone and their Grandmammy has written a "OC goes to Middle Earth" fic. But I haven't read any where "OC ends up with LoTR canon characters in her humble abode," although that doesn't mean that there aren't any. So I decided to write one. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Okay, listen up here. My name is Rachel. I reside in America. I'm in the eighth grade. I don't have any visible scars, nose rings or what not, tattoos, third eyes, et cetera.  
  
Well, anywho, a while ago, something happened to me that was incredibly weird and highly disturbing to my mental state.  
  
I know that you won't believe me, and I guess I can accept that (or maybe I lied, okay?!). But you have GOT to know what happened!  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Listen; as I've said before, I'm an eighth grader at a school in some junior high in America (the name won't be given to protect the guilty!). I've got a sarcastic sense of humor, and am kind of cynical sometimes. I'm not popular and I don't not have any friends either. I'm tall, and I've got this bushy brown hair and blue eyes. Genetics suck.  
  
I'm not rich. I don't shop at Abercrombie and Fitch or anything like that. In fact, I've never even been in one. I'm a rebel, for crying out loud! Haha, yeah. That'll be the day. I shop at thrift stores and other stuff like that.  
  
I've got a bad sense of judgment when it comes to my common sense sometimes. I'm clumsy and I often break/mess things up. I'm kind of lazy sometimes, and I procrastinate often. I don't like homework, and if it were up to me, school would be entirely optional.  
  
I don't like stress, as I don't handle it well. And I definitely hate deadlines, since I am disorganized and messy. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't plan on it. Thanks for making me bring THAT up.  
  
Now, I'm going to move right along, okay? I bet you're dying to hear what actually did happen to me. No? Well, will you please pretend? Thanks.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
I was sleeping. Now, normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem. But I hadn't been getting to sleep much, after school had started and I'd had trouble getting back into sleeping.  
  
It was six thirty in the morning. I was supposed to be up in thirteen minutes. I usually set my alarm clock for odd times just because I can. I'm a weird little person, I bet you're thinking, right? Well, I suppose you're right. Hee hee.  
  
Anyway, I was fully prepared for Less Than Jake to come blaring from my clock radio early in the morning. It was the best thing about being woken up at such an obscene our of the morning. My dog Licorice was curled up in bed with me, and my parakeet Aberdeen was scuttling around in his cage.  
  
My little brother Jeff was asleep in his room with Erika, our other dog, and PJ the parakeet and Toadley the toad were being quiet and asleep.  
  
Mom and Dad were in their room. Dad was probably in the shower getting ready for work. Mom was playing on the laptop because she didn't have to go to work until noon, and our third and final dog Snickerdoodle was curled up under the covers in their room.  
  
Yes, sir. Things were perfect. My favorite CD was going to be playing soon. My dog was asleep and keeping my leg warm. Life was good.  
  
But all of a sudden, there was a large crash, and suddenly several VERY heavy bodies hit my bed. Licorice yelped and scurried over onto my pillow. I snarled and sat up as fast as I possibly could, and clutched my doggy for dear life. My eyes were bugging out, and my teeth were gritted.  
  
I bet I looked like a freakin' idiot.  
  
There were several dudes on floor and draped on my bed. I screamed like a banshee, and Licky sat, petrified, in my arms. The two of us stared vacantly. Suddenly, a guy with black hair began to stir.  
  
Suddenly, my alarm switched on and the familiar beginning of 'Automatic' began to play. I must have jumped about a foot in the air, because I tumbled off of my bed, Licorice on top of me and my music blasting loudly. It's not like it would wake me up if it was quiet; I sleep like a log.  
  
A short little guy with curly, dark hair was the first one to sit up and rub his head. He wasn't wearing anything like the guys who attended my school might wear or anything like that, but hey, what can you do? They obviously weren't from around here.  
  
"What in the-?" I said groggily, not even realizing I had started to talk, at first. "Who are you, punk?" I screeched shrilly, holding up one of my new shoes threateningly. Okay, Rachel, these guys had swords and bows and arrows and what not. What was a shoe going to do for my self defense?!  
  
Suddenly, I was very afraid.  
  
"Wait, wait! I mean you no harm, miss!" the guy said. "My name is Frodo Baggins! I'm a hobbit. I'm from the Shire! And we're on a quest to cast the one ring back into the fires of Mount Doom!"  
  
"What! Are you high?" I shouted, making Licorice squirm. It was very loud in the room, and with every movement of the people on my bed, it creaked, and I was afraid it would break under their weight.  
  
"High?" a second 'hobbit' asked. "Well, Miss, we aren't tall, you might say, so I suppose we aren't 'high,' if that's what you mean."  
  
"Sam, I don't think that's what she meant," the guy with the black hair who had first stirred said observantly.  
  
"Whatever, Aragorn. Don't be such a know it all!" another dude said, one with long-ish brown hair.  
  
"Shut up, Boromir!" Now, I usually wouldn't think that men like these would talk like this, but I suppose that was the jist of things.  
  
"Both of you shut up!" I screamed loudly, beating my fists on the ground, making a loud rumbling. "Lord of the Rings has come to our house, Licky!" I said to the black dachshund I still help.  
  
"Lord of the what?" an Elf-ish person that had to be Legolas said.  
  
"Lord of the Rings. There's books about you. Jeff has read them a billion times. I myself have seen the movie. I've got it on DVD."  
  
"DVD?" Boromir repeated.  
  
"Sounds like some sort of devilry!" Gimli barked.  
  
"No, no, no!" I said. "And listen, I don't exactly have time for this! I'm kind of needing to get ready for school!"  
  
There was a shocked pause.  
  
"SCHOOL?" Merry exclaimed loudly.  
  
"I want to go!" Pippin agreed.  
  
"No, I do!" Frodo and Boromir said at once. What was the matter with these people?! Getting transferred from Middle Earth to Mid-America must have not agreed with them.  
  
"I have heard of this 'school' place," Gandalf began dramatically. "And it is a foul, horrible place. Frightening, this place is." I snorted as I flung a pair of jeans on top of my desk and began looking for my shirt for today.  
  
"Oh come on, Gandalf. It isn't *that* bad!" I assured them.  
  
"Well, if Gandalf says it's not good, I will be of no part of it!" Gimli insisted, stubbornly folding his arms.  
  
"Fine! You guys can stay here and the rest of us will go to school!" I said, exasperated, but having finally found my t-shirt. "After I get ready, I will get you guys clothes out of the laundry room!"  
  
A resounding cheer filled the room.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
"Uh, Rachel, what are you eating?" Pippin asked, glancing at the bowl of cereal.  
  
"Lucky Charms," I said through a mouthful of hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers and blue moons. Not to mention pots of gold and rainbows. And of course, the red balloons. "Go ahead, fix yourselves some," I urged, knowing the hobbits would need food, or so I supposed.  
  
I just hoped I wouldn't have to deal with second breakfast.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
"And who are these people?" my best friend Casey asked as I arrived at the bus stop of DOOM with Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo in tow. "They don't seem to be any of our fellow eight graders," she mused.  
  
"Casey, you'd think I'm crazy," I said with a sigh.  
  
"What? Who? Me?" she asked, putting on an expression of mock shock (hey, that rhymes!), hands on her cheeks. "Come on, tell me! Tell me!" she begged in an annoying chant-like way. I glanced at the Fellowship, who were staring on expectantly, eager grins on their faces. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Fine!" I said, leaning in to whisper to her, because that pesky guy who lived right next door to the bus stop, who probably thought that we were drunk half the time. Just because we screamed 'Bunny!' whenever we saw a rabbit and waving at cars and other fun stuff.  
  
When I finished, she looked at me weird, not saying anything.  
  
"Rachel. You really are crazy! Just like everyone says!" Casey yelled, edging away.  
  
"No! Seriously!"  
  
"Fine! Can you prove it?!" she squealed hysterically.  
  
"Frodo, can you please show her the ring?" I begged, very embarrassed.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Frodo asked, hand flying to his neck. He must have been afraid I'd steal the ring. Yeah, right, sure, whatever Frodo. I've seen just how much trouble that little ring had caused.  
  
"Well, puh-lease, will you just show her the ring?"  
  
"Yes, 'Mr. Frodo,' if that's indeed your real name," Casey said with a bemused look on her face. "Do indeed show me the ring."  
  
"All right," Frodo finally agreed, with a reluctant sigh. He pulled the chain up and the ring was exposed. Casey gasped and stumbled away.  
  
"Oh my god, Rachel!" she cried. "You weren't kidding, were you?!"  
  
"Uh, no. I wasn't," I said finally, after kicking a few rocks down the intersection. "I told you I wasn't lying; why would someone lie about this kind of thing?"  
  
"Because they're insane!" Casey cried.  
  
"Uh, Rachel?" Boromir asked from behind where I was trying to stop Casey's head from exploding.  
  
"Speaking!" I responded, turning around.  
  
"What exactly are we waiting for?" Aragorn broke in.  
  
"Aragorn, you fool! I can speak by myself!"  
  
"Excuse me for living!" Aragorn fired back.  
  
"Shut up!" Casey and I shouted in unison. Birds flew off of trees at the loud noise.  
  
"Well, Boromir, we are waiting for the bus," I explained softly.  
  
"The bus?" Legolas questioned, as if afraid someone might hear him. I stared at him.  
  
"Uh, yeah. It's a means of transportation," I tried to clarify.  
  
"With lots of insane people on it!" Casey added helpfully.  
  
"Hey, did you know that when I was eight I saw this thing on TV and this kid said 'All the weird kids ride the bus!' I believed him but my mom said 'That's not true! Just wait until you get older and ride the bus!' So I forgot about that and then when I got to ride the bus, I realized that my former suspicions were correct; and that, in fact, all the weird kids *do* ride the bus!" I informed Casey.  
  
"Ah ha," she mused. "I guess that's right, seeing as how everyone on our delightful bus is not exactly playing with a full deck."  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Okay, fine, I suppose I should let you know that, a ways back, I lied to you. I have never had a boyfriend, that much is true, but I will tell you that I have my eye on someone.  
  
Pathetic? Sure. Improbable? Totally! Sad? YES.  
  
Anyways, his name is Alex, and he's in my homeroom. Are you happy? Of course not. Now back to the story.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Well, the best we could do was to get Pippin and Aragorn in our homeroom. And by 'our' homeroom, I mean me and Casey's. Yes, that's right, my best friend is in my homeroom. Weird coincidence, right? That's what I thought!  
  
My brain was frozen, and I had a huge headache. I rested my head on the obviously fake wood surface of my desk. I hoped not everyone was staring at me, especially Alex. Good thing he wasn't there yet.  
  
Aragorn and Pippin sat in silence. I had assigned everyone new names. Aragorn was Andrew, Pippin was Peter, Frodo was Fred, Merry was Maxwell, Legolas was Lester, and Boromir was Blake. It was a good thing that Sam had a 'normal' sounding name, I guess, because it was sort of hard for Casey and I to think up those names.  
  
Casey was sitting behind me, talking to Amy, who was another girl in our class, and Eric, a tall boy also in our class with bleach-blonde hair streaked red using cherry Kool-Aid. Sounded like a good idea to me.  
  
The door creaked open, and I lifted my head quickly. It was Alex, with his blue binder under his arm. He took a seat next to me.  
  
"Hey Alex," Casey said.  
  
"Hey Casey, hey Rachel," he responded. "Hey, did we get new students?"  
  
"Yes, yes we did," I replied vacantly, staring at the overhead projector.  
  
"Uh, Peter and Andrew," Casey added, kicking me in the back of the leg. I grunted and folded my arms.  
  
"Hey guys!" Alex said, waving to 'Peter and Alex.' They reluctantly waved back.  
  
I sighed.  
  
It would be a long day. 


	2. A Little Info About Homeroom

You'd Never Believe Me By Skye Rocket  
  
A/N: Hey there. Thanks to all you guys who reviewed, okay? ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Lord of the Rings characters, places, ideas, et cetera.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
It was another boring day in homeroom, but what else was new? It wasn't like homeroom was a barrel of monkeys (FUN!) or a box of chocolates (also very fun!). It was just homeroom, and excuse for another teacher to make a feeble attempt to suck the fun out of our days. Luckily, that would NEVER happen, since we had a lot of insane people in our class.  
  
You can always have fun with crazy people.  
  
That much I've learned from people I know.  
  
Oh course; there are some interesting, relatively normal people that I know. But even if they are fun and stuff, you can't beat crazies. It's a proven fact. Some people will be able to tell you that.  
  
Anyway.  
  
Mrs. Farmer (our teacher, of course) was probably fraternizing with some of her colleagues or whatnot, or helping some student who accidentally slammed their pant leg in the door of their locker. Haha. I can see it now; the poor fool.  
  
Actually, that seems to be something I would do myself.  
  
You see, in my case, it is a proven fact that I, Rachel Marks, can hurt myself doing ANYTHING! Sitting in a chair? Sure, I can just lean back a little bit and go tumbling over backwards! Walking down the hallway with no one or nothing in it? I can definitely fall over my own foot, and for your viewing pleasure, I might add!  
  
Well, after Alex did his little wave to Aragorn and Pippin, Mrs. Farmer had still not arrived.  
  
"At least she left the door open," Eric mused. I smirked. That was true. Now, this may be an outrage to some of you. But our homeroom teacher DID NOT trust us in the least! She's paranoid, I swear! She thinks that the seven of us will cart off the desks while she's off checking her little mailbox thingy in the office!  
  
Does that seem like a logical way for us to bug her to you? That's what I said; it just DOESN'T make sense! Anyways, she is also very afraid that the administration is watching us and so she forces us to be read to during SMILE, instead of just reading to ourselves, like everybody else!  
  
Err, sorry. I've kind of gotten used to being able to freely rant about that. It just really bothers me.  
  
"Well, why aren't we surprised she isn't here? She apparently likes being late," Amy said. Aragorn and Pippin looked around, mystified.  
  
"True," Casey mused, head resting on her hand as she peeled Spongebob Squarepants stickers out of her little sticker book that someone had given her and liberally applied them to her math book. I folded my arms and placed them on the desk before resting my chin on top on my arms. I was going crazy.  
  
"You guys, it's Wednesday," I thought out loud. Everyone turned to look at me, including Alex. I blushed bright red. "Now, we all know that we have convinced her it was Friday, right? So why not try it again?"  
  
"Rachel, are you sure that we could do that?" Shelly asked, looking up from the note that Amy was showing her. I shrugged.  
  
"Why not try? I mean, even if she corrects us, she already thinks we're nuts anyways. So what will it hurt?" I suggested.  
  
"She's right, you guys!" Alex agreed out of nowhere. My heart skipped a beat; but I couldn't help feel foolish because of this.  
  
"Are you sure this is a worthy idea?" Aragorn piped up suddenly. My jaw fell and I shot him a searing glare. Everyone turned to look at him.  
  
"Fish butts!" Brian screamed suddenly, entering the room before anyone could respond to Aragorn. Pippin jumped a foot into the air. But the sad thing was, those of us who had been in Mrs. Farmer's homeroom since Day One were not fazed at all; it was a totally normal occurrence to us. Aragorn and Pippin stared, bewildered at the short, blonde boy with the spiked hair.  
  
"Hey Brian," Casey said with a cheery wave.  
  
"Hello!" he exclaimed, and then on his way to his seat, he looked at me. "Howdy, Elmo!"  
  
I gave a brief wave of my hand. Brian had been calling me Elmo off and on for a long time now. And as I've said before, we had all gotten used to the weird things that Brian was so used to doing by now.  
  
The bell rang, and suddenly the door just FLEW open with Mrs. Farmer hustling her way through it. I slouched down a little in my seat.  
  
"When did we get new students?!" she cried, catching sight of Aragorn and Pippin. My breath caught in my throat.  
  
"Today," Aragorn whispered shyly.  
  
"Oh, isn't that nice!" Mrs. Farmer crowed, clapping her hands together. I rolled my eyes.  
  
Hopefully it would go semi-well.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Finally we had managed to slip out the door of homeroom.  
  
Now, I don't exactly know if you know this or not, but homeroom is the root of all evil. Although I do get some time in the morning to start off with a heaping helping of reading Lord of the Rings.  
  
Wait. There is NOTHING good about homeroom! Even if it does involve Lord of the Rings.  
  
Well, anyways.  
  
I scurried into my advanced math, AKA pre-algebra class. They called it advanced, but would you think that if you walked in when we were not working on anything? Probably not. Oh well, we may not act like it, but I guess you might say that even though a lot of us are halfway insane (me leading the back, in a bit of a quiet way, though), we're an intelligent bunch.  
  
I slapped my binder, journal, reading book (I was currently reading the Fellowship of the Ring) and my math book onto my desk, and noticed, out of the corner of my eye, Sam and Frodo nervously peeking their heads through the door. I smiled softly and went to get my math folder.  
  
Jason shoved past me to get to his folder, and I ran into the back of David's desk and swore under my breath but stood up as quickly as possible. David turned around to look at me.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Peachy keen, jelly bean," I muttered. David smiled and rolled his eyes.  
  
Meanwhile, Sam and Frodo had nervously stumbled into the room and to the back, where no one sat. I took my time going back to my desk, and rested my head on my binder momentarily. That is, until Ms. White entered the room. I lifted my head and wiped the sleep from my tired eyes. Having characters from a book get sucked into your world and you having to take care of it all really takes a lot out of you.  
  
But then it hit me! Did hobbits know algebra? Crap. Crap. Crap! I'm SCREWED, I thought sadly.  
  
Well, I guessed I would find out soon. 


	3. Popularity: Home of the Privelaged Few

You'd Never Believe Me By Skye Rocket An Entirely True Story of Anger, Frustration, Confusion, but above all things: The Perils of Junior High School.  
  
A/N: Thanks for your reviews, my friends.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned The Lord of the Rings or anything else, do you think I would still have to borrow money from my parents? Teehee.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
We took our seats as fast as possible. Well, except me, already being in my seat. I anxiously drummed the fingers of my left hand on the top of my desk as I set to work on my work.  
  
People around me chatted idly and were quickly scolded by the teacher. I sighed at the problem that lay before me, which involved adding sixteen cubed to the square root of four. The words 'no calculator' were written boldly with one of those erasable markers on the whiteboard, with three lines underneath it.  
  
I rested my hand on my left hand and began scribbling down the equation written on the board. I swiveled my head around a little and saw Frodo and Sam whispering to each other hurriedly. Sam continuously glanced at the overhead nervously, while Frodo folded his arms and examined it intently.  
  
But then, to my complete and total relief, they began working quickly and efficiently (I thought, by looking at them) at their math problems. It was all going very good, until Frodo started singing on of those cute songs that Jeff had memorized out of the book. I almost screamed. At first I thought that no one might notice, but then, it happened.  
  
"Dude, that is TIGHT!" Jasper said from the desk in from of the two. "Is that the new Ja Rule song?"  
  
"Uh, no," Frodo denounced quickly, upon seeing my warning look. He gave Sam a questioning glance. I folded my arms and rested my chin on them and closed my eyes, trying to relax as Jasper prompted Frodo to repeat the little rhyme that he had rattled off a few seconds earlier.  
  
As I finished jotting down some inane math problem, I continued to let my mind wander to things that could, without a doubt, go wrong. Mrs. W. could call on Sam or Frodo and they would all confused on some basic problem. Jasper could draw them into his sick, twisted world that they call Popularity and make them hobbit versions of himself (oh, the humanity!). Or maybe, the principal will come in dressed as an Orc or something. Well, everyone would probably freak out because that's just weird. But I think it still counts!  
  
Suddenly I was a bit on the sad side. I mean, I'd been going for my school for two years. Frodo and Sam had been here for about ten minutes. And now they had managed to catch Jasper's eye with some stupid rhyme?  
  
Sorry. That was uncalled for.  
  
You might have guessed by now that I really have hostile feelings toward school.  
  
Anyways, math went by without a hitch, much to my supreme relief. Erm, perhaps I forgot one minor detail.  
  
Jasper had accepted the two hobbits into the eighth grade paradise of Popularity. In case you didn't know, I will briefly describe Popularity to you.  
  
Popularity at my humble school is where everyone can flirt with members of the opposite gender and not be considered skanky. It's a place where you can sit at an exclusive table in the commons for lunch. It's where teachers automatically love and adore you and sometimes comply with your every whim.  
  
Obviously I have been prohibited from ever joining those in Popularity.  
  
It's not my cup of tea, you might say.  
  
Oh all right, since you're so persistent. I sometimes secretly wish I was a citizen of Popularity. I suppose every youngster in the world of Eight Grade wishes they were welcomed into Popularity at some point.  
  
But enough about that!  
  
I had walked to my locker slowly. No one except the much-ridiculed 'sevvies' (seventh graders) was ever in a hurry to get to any classes. Hey, they may be fun sometimes, but they're still school.  
  
I'm a cynic, sometimes. And this day had not gone very well for the first hour of school.  
  
It was unnaturally cold in school. I was glad I had put my turtleneck on underneath my tie-dyed t-shirt. I don't dress like everyone else, most of the time, as you may have guessed.  
  
When I opened my locker, my science book tumbled out and landed on the toe of my plaid sneaker. I howled in pain, and a group of jocks turned to look at me.  
  
"What're you lookin' at?" I said crossly. "Nothing to see here!" They turned away, but looking at me like I had sprouted an extra arm. Yeah, I know it was sort of uncalled for, but as I've said before, the day was not going well. I had algebra homework, and not to mention the fact that I also had a group of guys that I had not thought actually existed in reality (a place I don't visit often) to assist throughout the day. It helps you get through the day when you can look out the window in your history class and imagine pink elephants zipping about in the sky.  
  
And I wonder why people call me crazy, honestly.  
  
The room was slightly filled up when I got there. At least I wasn't the first one there.  
  
I took my seat next to Alex, Brian and Danny. All guys. And they call me a lucky, lucky girl. Even though Brian is insane, he's still cooler than most, as I've said earlier.  
  
Ms. C. stood in the front of the room talking to her teacher's aide. I planted my head on my binder. I saw Legolas enter the room shyly as Pippin tried to shove him in the door. I gave a faint grin.  
  
"Whoa. Loads of new kids today," Dan said absently.  
  
"I know what you mean," Alex said.  
  
"Oh yeah, you're right," I added, even though I knew perfectly well why there were so many new kids.  
  
"Pork Chops!" Brian cried loudly. I smiled, the fabric of the binder rough against my cheek.  
  
The teacher began droning on, but Dave and I struck up some conversation. It was quite common for kids to ignore the teacher at this educational palace. Ugh.  
  
Our school was full of not so wholesome types. There were kids in the eighth grade who had done things you wouldn't want to tell your parents about. There were kids who thought that they were 'all that and a bag of potato chips.' There were crazy people (my favorites!). Few people were all that great, if you want the truth.  
  
See, I told you. Sorry about my extreme dislike and brutal honesty.  
  
Soon I had received a note from my friend, Sherry. I unfolded it. 'To Rachel,' it said on the outside. 'This is boring! If boredom could kill, I'd be spinning in my grave!' I looked up at her where she sat at another table. I smiled and bobbed my head. She snickered and nodded back.  
  
Minerals were the topic of today's lecture. Alex and Danny exchanged a bored glace and smiled at one another. For a stupid moment, I wished Alex had glanced at me too. Sometimes I let my mind run away with me.  
  
Legolas had been sat next to Sherry, who was looking at him with interest. I can bet that she was 'checking him out.'  
  
Interesting. VERY interesting. That could result in a scientific experiment in itself. How long will it take a hormonal teenager to fall for a studly elf boy? Hypothesis: Not long.  
  
See what I mean? I really am crazy.  
  
But at least now, no one can say I ignore science class ALL the time. 


End file.
